Filter, please!!!

Sometimes you shouldn't say exactly what is on your mind. I need a filter. Everyone has that jugular spot, more tender than others. I have been trying to find a way to ward off people condolences, for that is my jugular. Thank you for caring, now change the subject, "What is for Dinner?". You know what I mean. I speak before thinking. "What a beautiful hair piece." I don't think of it as offensive. (When you chose to wear a hairpiece, don't you know it doesn't look real? Like suddenly your hair grew 2 feet longer.) "When did your daughter start wearing black eye makeup?" Most of the time, when it comes to kids, I am curious. I want that heads up. Could they say, "Soon they want to wear make up beware of the black eyeliner." Right? Did you not see them leave the house today? Oh, and I am famous for patting pregnant bellies and asking when they are due. Monday night, the reply was "what baby"? Yes, I did it, foot straight up to the mouth, do not pass go or collect $200 dollars. Then why did she wear a maternity top? She didn't know Liz Lang was maternity in Target?
Today, and it is still early, I have already hit my mother's jugular. So sad, I forget she is his mother, not the sister who is okay to joke about my brother's flaws. Like pouring salt in an open womb, telling her something she didn't know about him is painful. Myself, being the little sister there is still a tattling element when she doesn't know something. I wish my mouth had rewind. Her pain is great enough with out someone poking at her.
I think today I am better off to stay home and clean the house. Maybe I will make a cheese ball and bake something like cinnabons!!!! Yum. Why does it seem the harder I try the further I fall? I am climbing back up today in my own solitude, praying that my mouth is slower to react. God give me a filter!

Just Ash